Why does this happen to me?
by Triple P
Summary: Why has life to be so difficult for Yamato? He has to deal with lotta problems... *I'm German! So excuse my writing stil!*


~Why?~  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Hi everybody and welcome to the Shrek in the swamp Karaoke-Danceparty. =^_^=  
  
Sorry, just a joke! I'm in the mood to make jokes today. My dear boyfriend was here and now I'm so happy that I have to make jokes. But this probably isn't interesting for you.  
  
However, this story isn't going to be as joyful and sweet. Maybe, let's see. (( This was a rhyme! Man, I'm good! * g *).  
  
My family has to deal with lots of problems right now and I'm trying to get over them. So try to write about these problems. Just have to change them a little bit so that I can apply them on Digimon… Otherwise it wouldn't come out as I thought it would. You understand?  
  
Man, I'm confused.  
  
Warnings: tried suicide and all that "good" stuff  
  
On with the fic!  
  
I WARN YOU! DON'T READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT!!!  
  
Thanks to every reviewer and to all the people who helped me to get over my problems.  
  
These people are: Kukuru, Teufelchen, Kastön, Felix, Jasi, mommy (I say mommy to my mother… it sounds sweet), my grandparents, L@rs and to all the people I forgot.  
  
Love you, man!!!!  
  
  
  
~Why?~  
  
I hate these Monday mornings. I really hate them. You know why? Just because… No, there are reasons behind it. I hate Monday mornings because of a new 'school-week'. You're just doing tests and the teachers are blaming you for everything. That really pisses me off.  
  
Another reason is that I can't rehearsal with my band because the music students occupy our room.  
  
And that's really stupid.  
  
The only positive aspect of a Monday morning is that I'm able to see my little brother TK. I love this kid so much. Not this love. Brotherly love, I mean.  
  
I can't see him as often as I want to because of my parents' divorce. I'm living with our dad in small apartment in Odaiba/Japan. Takeru, TK is just his nickname, lives with our mommy. Yeah, I know, it sounds funny when a seventeen years old boy says 'mommy' to his mother. But I like the sound of the word. I really like it.  
  
TK and I were going to the same school. He's fourteen years old now. Man, TK really grew a lot in the course of time.  
  
Man, I've seen so much in seventeen years. I feel like hundred or so. So many bad things are still swimming in my head although they came under the statute of limitations.  
  
I had to help a friend who lost his parents by a car accident. He didn't want to live anymore. That was really weird. Another friend of mine has been sexually abused by his own father. This brain-damaged man almost raped me, too. It was a long long time ago. I've been seven or eight years old, I think. I've been at my friend's apartment and his father said I should go to the toilet with him. It has been childish naivety. But what could I do? I mean, I was eight and very skinny. And this man was really, you know, big. And I didn't know what this man would do to me. I haven't thought perverted when I was eight years old.  
  
So I was with this ugly and terribly man in the toilet. He said that he won't do me harm if I kept quiet. I was stunned and scared.  
  
Luckily my grandma arrived at my friend's apartment before something could happen. She wanted to pick me up. I've never been so lucky in my whole life. That experience was really shocking. And I sentence everyone who abuses human beings, especially children. They don't know what they do to the human beings. It's hard to get over with an abuse. Really hard. Almost impossible.  
  
My friend was glad as the police arrived to arrest his father after some people said that this man abused their children. That was creepy.  
  
We were at Monday mornings, weren't we? Think so.  
  
Another reason why I hate this weekday is that I got a very unexpected and terrible message while I was sitting in the class room.  
  
The headmaster wanted me to come into his office. I still know my thoughts which I had at this moment.  
  
I thought: 'Shit, Ishida Yamato. What have you done this time?'  
  
The headmaster offered me a seat and told me that I better had to sit down.  
  
I did as I was told. I sat down and waited for the headmaster to start.  
  
"Matt", he told me, "something terrible has happened."  
  
I was confused. What could've happened? I had no clue.  
  
"Your father. He's in the hospital. He fell unconscious and the doctors say that he probably is not going to survive. I'm sorry, Yamato."  
  
That was the last thing I remembered before I broke down crying. I ignored my surrounding area. I don't know who brought me back to my apartment. Maybe it was Tai. You know, Tai's my boyfriend. I'm gay. There's also the fact that I'm gay. Homosexual.  
  
(Triple P: NO, I'M NOT HOMOSEXUAL! I'M FEMALE AND I HAVE A NICE AND CARING BOYFRIEND)  
  
But I'm not sure of it. I never asked him.  
  
Luckily my dad survived this whole thing. After two weeks he could get out of this stupid sterile building.  
  
The doctors said that his heart was not beating regularly and that a few organs weren't as good as they should be.  
  
Right now he's okay. I hope that at least. I don't see him often.  
  
Yeah. All this troubles me. Shit happens.  
  
During this whole time I tried three time to kill myself. But I've never had the courage to really kill myself. I just wanted to feel pain. To feel pain to forget my problems.  
  
But I can tell you. This DOES NOT help. Trust me in this one. It's not an option.  
  
The best thing is to speak about what troubles you. And you need a few people who really want to help you, who understand you and your problems.  
  
That's the only thing that helps.  
  
Or you can write it down like I'm doing now. That helps a lot. Really.  
  
TRUST ME!!!  
  
Because it's Monday morning, I have to go to school in a few seconds.  
  
I just wait for Taichi to pick me up.  
  
The doorbell rings.  
  
This has to be Taichi. Okay guys. I hope that you won't do anything stupid. Life goes on.  
  
Always.  
  
See you.  
  
~Owari~  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
  
So, that's my story. It doesn't have happened so exactly, I just had to change something so that Matt can say this…  
  
I'm feeling a lot better. Everyone who has problems should also write a story. It really helps…  
  
I'm going to post a new chapter of ~Saying something stupid~ ASAP. I just don't feel like writing a new chapter today. Maybe Tuesday or Wednesday. Let's see. *  
  
TRIPLE P  
  
Please review (if you want to)!!! 


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